Transsexualism in the Church:
A pastor responds

When Mandy joined our church membership course I knew that she was a transformed person. A former teacher, she was now retraining as a nurse and had been invited to our church by a fellow student. A dynamic sermon (not mine!), an invitation to respond and a powerful anointing of the Holy Spirit had ushered this confident, self-fulfilled agnostic into the kingdom.

As the course progressed it became clear that emarkable new understanding. She devoured the Bible and the new truth she was receiving, although she seemed rather more subdued during the session in which we dealt with repentance. Then, after the course, when she was preparing for baptism, came the phone call: could she meet with my wife, privately? My wife did not tell me immediately what it had been about, but a couple of days later she dropped the bombshell – Mandy was a post-operative transsexual. (She didn’t use these words – they entered our vocabulary later!)

Had I been asked to predict my reaction I would have anticipated total shock and panic. Strangely I felt neither, but rather a sense of calm. Immediately into my head came the verse:

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away;
behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

I felt that the Holy Spirit was beginning to instruct me. The next Sunday I spoke quietly to Mandy: “Maybe we should talk sometime”. When we met, Mandy began to outline her story...

Growing up as a boy, … feeling she was in the wrong body...fascination with womens clothes...the relief of discovering others who felt the same way...increasing cross-dressing and joining the transvestite community... a growing sense that perfect fulfilment could never be achieved without ‘the operation’... the counselling which encouraged this course of action...eventually undergoing the operation and the triumphant sense of having arrived, with a new identity, a new gender and a new job in a new town. She had enjoyed her new life for only a few short months when God sovereignly intervened, turning her world upside down yet again and bringing her to new birth in the Spirit. Cautiously I asked: “So how do you now feel about your gender change?”

Mandy explained how she was now beginning to regret what she had done. She had believed a lie about her identity. She now realised that what she had done had been an act of rebellion against her Creator. She had now confessed her sin to God and was beginning to renounce in her heart all that it involved.

As I looked at Mandy, I began to see the former male person. Yes, the shoulders were more broad and the hips were really just a bit too slim. But who would have guessed? I had certainly not had the slightest notion about ‘her’ identity. ‘She’ certainly carried it off impeccably. But where do we go from here? Mandy told how the operation was irreversible. She had taken on a totally new identity. Her name was changed and she was in the middle of her nursing training, her true identity known only to her senior tutor.

At this stage all I knew for certain was what the Holy Spirit had spoken to me: “If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation...”. I could not deny my earlier conviction, before this ‘bombshell’, that here was someone truly born again, taught of the Holy Spirit and radically changed on the inside. I recalled Paul’s words in the previous verse: “Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh...”

I spoke quietly to Mandy: “Whatever your past, whatever you are now, male or female, what matters is who you are in Christ. As far as I am concerned, God has intervened in your life and He has placed you in Christ. He now gives you your identity. This is who you are, this is therefore how I regard you. If God has accepted you, so do I.” We agreed that all this should be kept confidential. At this stage, no one in the church knew, except my wife and I.

Thus we returned to the issue of baptism. Of course, Mandy wanted to be baptised, and it was now that the nagging doubts in my mind began to surface. What about the text in Deuteronomy 22:5? It clearly states that cross-dressing was an abomination to God. How could we baptise someone who lived permanently that way? Surely the fruits of repentance should be shown in a willingness to change back to manhood. Surely baptism could only follow this.

Again I felt the quiet conviction of the Holy Spirit to walk in faith, one step at a time. I began to understand that a radical change would involve more than a simple change of clothes. The outward manifestation resulted from a deep inner malaise dating from childhood. Any change had to occur from the inside. Change could not be imposed externally, Mandy had to come to a personal inward conviction, not merely outward conformity. It might take years. “But what if she never came to the point of change?” I wondered. “So what is baptism?”, I sensed the Holy Spirit was asking me. “We are baptised into Christ, of course” I replied. “We are buried with Him and raised with Him in newness of life.” Back again came the scripture: “Therefore, from now on we regard no one according to the flesh...If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation.”

I asked Mandy for permission to speak with my fellow elder. I needed now to check out that I was not completely on the wrong track. To my relief he confirmed everything I had so far thought. Of course we should baptise Mandy, just as she was. Baptism is an initiation, the start of the journey. We bring all our mess into the waters of baptism. Some of the mess we cannot change in this life. Failed marriages, for example, sometimes cannot be repaired. Of course, it would be totally unreasonable to expect Mandy to go back to a male lifestyle; after all the operation was irreversible. We must accept her as she is in Christ. We felt that there had already been sufficient evidence of repentance and faith on Mandy’s part, together with a peaceful confirmation in our hearts. We felt we could not refuse baptism.

As the weeks and months progressed, I kept in regular touch with Mandy. Nearly every time we met I was prepared to share some concern or suggestion about the next step. Invariably, Mandy had already had the same thought and almost always raised an issue before I did. I grew more confident that the Holy Spirit was at work. A recurring theme was the deception of Mandy’s chosen lifestyle and the growing desire on her part to be more honest with others.

The first step was to tell her prayer triplet. This, as it happened was the most difficult step, with one partner responding most positively and the other extremely negatively, feeling a sense of outrage at the deception and our apparent cover-up of Mandy’s true identity. Next I brought Mandy to one of our leadership team meetings: “Mandy has something she wants to tell us”. And she shared her story with them. Then we told the couple with whom she was lodging.

Later on, the church membership was informed. We planned this meticulously! Those not present at the meeting had to be carefully informed privately. Clear guidelines about what (not!) to share with children and teenagers were worked out. The response of the membership was stunning. Without exception all affirmed Mandy as one with us in Christ. Generally at this stage the women were most supportive personally to Mandy. Some of the men felt awkward. Some people said: “I’m not surprised, I thought something was funny”. Others were taken totally unawares. One guy said that when I introduced Mandy by saying she “wants to tell us something...”, he thought he was going to hear she was pregnant!

Careful teaching, explanation and openness with the membership helped. We began to notice changes. The make-up was less obvious, feminine dresses were making way for trousers and loose jumpers. Hesitatingly, I began to pray that Mandy might consider a change back to male lifestyle. It was such a huge step. Did I dare to suggest to Mandy that I was thinking this way? True to form, at our next meeting, Mandy herself raised the subject! The inner turmoil of living a double life and the anguish at the implicit deception involved was becoming stronger and stronger.

Encouraged by what was clearly increasing conviction of the Holy Spirit, I nevertheless counselled caution: “Wait at least until you’ve finished your training. Why make it more difficult for yourself?” I had not reckoned with God!

On 1st January 1996, just 18 months after ‘her’ baptism, and with six months still to complete in ‘her’ training, Mandy became James, reverting to the name his parents gave him. Once again detailed preparation of the church was necessary. Parents would now need to tell their children. Regular non-members, including our teens group were told in advance. Mandy made similar preparations at the hospital. On 31st December 1995 a special hair appointment was made with one of our members.

Great was the rejoicing when a fine, be-suited young James walked to the front on the first Sunday of the year to be ‘introduced’ to the church. I could only feel a deep gratitude to God for His wonderful grace and transforming power. In what might seem to have been one of the most challenging of pastoral cases, I can honestly say it was a joy to act as spiritual ‘midwife in training’. The Holy Spirit has continued to work. To cap it all, 15 months later, James announced his engagement to a girl in the church and they have since married, but that’s another story!

Is there anything I have learned which could be transferable to other pastors in similar circumstances? I am hesitant to generalise from our own experience as James’ story is such a unique work of God. Nevertheless, I hope that the following are helpful:

• Do not allow yourself to be pressurised by anyone to push a person into a particular course of action for which they may not be ready. Thoughts of “what will others think if they find out?” must be resisted.
  
  
• Take time to seek God. Note carefully the witness of your spirit.
  
  
• Do some thorough Bible study. Focus particularly on issues such as creation identity, the fall, the new birth and our identity in Christ. Scriptural teaching on eunuchs is helpful (Deut 23:1; Is 56:3-5). Remember God’s order is always acceptance before transformation.
  
  
• Remember, however, that God’s goal is transformation, but it is transformation into the new creation, not into the old creation. God, in heaven, transcends the matter of gender identity. We are entitled to expect a growth to Christ likeness in life, however a person dresses.
  
  
• At every step, wherever possible, seek the acquiescence of the person. For example: “I need to talk this over with a minister friend of mine. Is this OK by you?”. Avoid putting stumbling blocks in the road by ill-judged indiscretions.
  
  
• Always use the terms ‘he’/‘him’, ‘she’/‘her’ appropriately so as to give no hint of the true identity of the person unless you know the other person already knows. Gossip, even in hints is lethal and great care must be taken to avoid it.
  
  
• When sharing information with other members of the church about the transsexual’s true identity, give clear biblical teaching and counsel on how to understand and respond.
  
  
• Give time to members of the church who may be troubled and need to talk it through.
  
  
• Do not rush the transsexual into counselling. Inner healing and possibly deliverance may be appropriate at the right time. It was our experience that the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, in the context of an accepting community, did His sovereign work.

So finally what about Deuteronomy 22:5?

“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing,
for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” (NIV)

Are we not entitled to expect a transsexual, even a post-operative one, to stop cross-dressing? Here are some thoughts...

• The sins of the heart (pride, greed, jealousy, unbelief, fear etc) are equally detestable to God. We all know that the process of sanctification in these areas is often gradual. For the transsexual we must allow for a process of change that is rooted in heart transformation, rather than external pressure.
  
  
• Ceasing to cross-dress must be a goal to move towards. I was privileged to be part of a process where at each stage a door of change opened without me having to push it. Of course, that may not always be the case.
  
  
• Marks of true repentance to look for in this process are:
  
  
  • Ready acknowledgement that “God is right and I am wrong” on the matter of gender. Deuteronomy 22:5 should trouble the transsexual! Attempts to explain it away (e.g. “Oh, that’s just Old Testament stuff”) should be challenged.
    
    
  • Openness to discuss the past unguardedly.
    
    
  • Willingness at least to discuss the possibility of change.
    
    
  • Actual steps towards change should be looked for. For example a willingness to become increasingly open with others and a greater modesty in dress and demeanour.
    
    
  • Resistance to steps of change which you suspect is resistance to the Holy Spirit should be gently, but firmly challenged.
    

While naturally I was delighted at James’ decision to revert to a masculine lifestyle, especially, in retrospect, at the relatively short time it took, I was actually reconciled for it never to happen. This is of course provided that Mandy was not resisting the conviction of the Holy Spirit to change and that there was good evidence of growing holiness in other areas.

This is the story of the experience of a pastor in the south-east of England. The names “Mandy” and “James” are pseudonyms to protect the person’s true identity.